Purify
by killians-dashingrescue
Summary: Emma has been in long term relationship with Neal, but lately things have been complicated between them. After meeting Killian Jones, she starts to question her relationship with Neal. CS au
1. Chapter 1

**_So some of you might have already read this story before. It was actually the first story I wrote, and I still haven't finished it. I've been trying very hard to finish it but I seem unable to do it whenever I look at how the story is written and basically everything. Since I really want to finish this story and let Emma and Killian have their happy, especially since it's the first idea I ever had, so I decided to restart the story, working around what was already written. This is the first part that has already been rewritten, and the following chapters should follow shortly.  
><em>**

**_Reviews are always welcome, in fact they are encourage since they help me motivate to update faster!_**

**_I hope you like the changes, and for those who haven't read it well I hope you like it!_**

**_Thanks to Nicki, oncertwice for supporting me in this and helping me editing the mistakes!_**

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><p>Emma was walking towards her favorite coffee house the same she visited every morning. Today she was desperate for a cup of coffee, and she normally didn't drink coffee. She was more of a hot chocolate type of girl, with whipped cream and some cinnamon on top. The desperation for caffeine was due to her boyfriend, who didn't let her sleep at all last night and not for the good reason.<p>

Neal has been in a foul mood for a couple of months now, ever since he decided to go back to school. His choice was motivated by the fact that he didn't want Emma to be the one to provide for him since she was the only one with a steady job. After a while he decided to study something that would lead him with a job other than a lousy one. He had been so wrapped up with his assignments, that sleep has made itself scarce for him, leading to insomnia, nightmares and during the day a very tense boyfriend. Lately, they had been getting into fights quite regularly, and the things with the two of them was that, when they fought, it was pretty heated. Last night was no exception.

If Emma wanted to survive her day at work, she would need a big dose of caffeine. She finally arrived to destination, and opened the familiar glass door. The scent of sweet delicacy, freshly cooked coffee beans and of warm pastries invaded her senses combined with the cozy atmosphere almost instantly calmed her nerves a bit. She made a beeline for the counter and stood in front of it as she skimmed through the menu, analyzing the different kind of coffee drinks available. She finally settlled for a latte and turned to the barista behind the counter to place her order, but before she could she was cut off by another customer.

"Black coffee to go, please." The lilted voice in front of her ordered.

She went to stand next to him, and cleared her throat to make her presence known to the line-cutter, her arms crossed in front of her chest. The man turned his head around to face her, her breathing altered for a second when she actually _looked_ at him. Dark-brown hair, a scruff that had been growing for acouple of days now, and a set of incredibly breathtaking eyes. Needless to say, the man was attractive, and she almost didn't realize that she was actually staring with her mouth slightly open at the man that she was about to give a piece of her mind. He raised an eyebrow at her, a smirk on his face, that was enough to bring her back to reality and resume her original task.

"Excuse me, I don't know if you noticed, but I was ordering here." She glared at him, her voice stern.

"Sorry lass, from my perspective you were still undecided. I could make it up to you, if that's what the lady desires." His eyes roamed her body, winking at her when his eyes levelled with hers.

"Seriously? You're flirting with me now!" She rolled her eyes as she scoffed at him. "You're unebelievable."

"Well that's what I've been told." A smug grin plastered on his face.

"Ugh, you're disgusting."

"Oh really now?" He turned the rest of his body towards her, his head tilting to the side. "Is that why were checking me out before?" Emma felt caught and that must have registered on her face. The barista handed him his coffee, and she decided to keep her eyes on the transaction not wanting to look directly at him.

"I was not checking you out!" Her tone was defensive and high, and she cursed herself for acting that way. "You just caught me by surprise, and you were being rude by cutting me off."

"Keep telling yourself that, love." He grabbed his coffee in one hand and closed the space between them, invading her personal space. He leaned his face towards her ear, and felt the warmth of his breath caress her neck. "I know I was."

With that said, he took a step back and winked at her before walking out of the coffee shop. Emma stayed immobile for a moment her eyes fixed on the door in which the handsome, yet annoying, stranger left, her mind still trying to assess what just happened. She shook her head to help her regain her senses and finally managed to order her latte and chocolate chip muffin. With her coffee in hand and her pastrie in a brown bag she headed out to work, and tried to forget the recent encounter her morning started off with.

-/-

The day was long and tiredsome, as she had a lot of difficult cases to handle and also the fact that she had started out the day completely exhausted. Being a social worker was never an easy job, but today proved to a bit demanding. Emma worked at a center for disadvantage children and youth with a big array of issues, going from the usual difficulties that comes of being a teenager to kids being abused in all the possible ways.

Her day started off when one of her young teenage girls burst into her office in a state of panic, telling her that her boyfriend had forced her to have sex with him and she had just discovered that she was now pregnant. She was completely terrified on telling her foster parents about it, afraid of what they would say or do to her. That case took out most of her day, and now she felt a mix of sadness and exhaustion.

Emma loved her job, the fact that she could make even a small difference in a child or a teenagers life was the most rewarding feeling in the world. If it could prevent some of those kids to endure what she had to endure as a child, her work was done. She did sometimes wonder how she could still have the will to do her job, since every now and then she left work discouraged, sad and frustrated. Today was one of those days.

Relief washed through her when she caught sight of her building and finally reached the entrance. The only thing on her mind right now was laying down on her couch and relax. She unlocked the door to her apartment and entered as she dropped her purse on the floor. She walked further into her apartment as she shook her jacket off and saw Neal sitting at the dinning table as he typed eagerly on his computer, books scattered across the table.

"Still working on that assignment?" Drapping her red leather coat on one of the chair she waited for him to answer.

He mumbled something without even looking up from his computer which actually didn't surprise her. A sigh slipped through her lips and decided to go to the kitchen to start the kettle to make herself some tea. Her steps faltered when she saw the pile of dirty dishes in the sink, her arms dropping to her side as a frusrated sigh mixed with a groan made itself heard.

"Seriously Neal, you stayed home all day to finish your assignment and you couldn't even take five minutes to clean up the dishes!" She blurted out as she walked back to where her boyfriend was sitting.

"I told you I have to finish this today and then I have study for one of my other class, so no I didn't have time." His voice harsh, eyes still fixed on his computer screen.

"That is always your excuse. I know that you're swamped with all of you work, but you know you are not the only one living here. I come back from work every day exhausted, I do the cleaning, the supper and I pay the rent to help you out and you can't even do the fucking dishes!"

"Come on Emma, I really don't need this right now" Neal finally lifted his head up, an annoyed look molding his traits.

"Really! Well me neither, I am tired of having this goddamned argument every day, and of being your cleaning lady!" She told him her voice raising, hovering the line between loud and screaming.

The frustration of having the same argument over and over and having no change in their situation was too much for her. Her cheeks were turning red and felt the need to go out for fresh air and escape the same routine Neal and her have embarked upon. She grabbed her coat from the chair and her puse and stormed off of her appartment.

The fresh air helped her to cool down a bit, but didn't help her frustration to dissipate. Determined not to let her friday night be ruined by another fight with Neal, she decided to see the only person who could distract her from her problems. She texted her friend asking her if she wanted to go out for a drink, since she was in desperate need for one. Emma walked towards their usual spot, as Ruby told her she'll be there in fifteen minutes. She was already near their bar and arrived there in a matter of minutes. She entered the crowded bar and walked directly to the counter and sat one of the bar stools. Taking out her phone from her coat, she decided to check for her mails while she waiting for her friend. Suddenly, a familiar voice made itself heard behind the bar, a lilted accent that she recently heard.

"Well look who it is! Fancy seeing you here love." A shiver ran down her spine as she recognized that voice belonging to the handsome stranger she had just met that morning.

_You've got to be kidding me._


	2. Chapter 2

Her eyes blinked a couple of times as she tried to absorb the fact that the annoying man who flirted with her that same morning was now standing behind the bar, in _her_ bar.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Her voice came out shocked, which needless to say, she was.

"Well lass, the fact that I'm standing behind the counter means that I work here, didn't you know that?" Emma rolled her eyes at his sassy comment, and let out a groan of annoyance.

"No need to sound too excited to see me." He added as he saw her reaction, clearly wanting to push her buttons a bit more.

_Ass._

"Yeah well, with the day that I had I could've passed seeing a arrogant guy like you" She quipped back, quickly looking at the time on her watch, hoping that her friend will get here soon.

"If you had such a horrible day, let me offer you a drink lass." His hand grabbed a glass whilst the other fetch a liquor bottle and filled the glass with an amber liquid. Emma eyed the barman and the drink he was handing her, and was a bit skeptical about accepting it.

"Sorry, but I don't take drinks from strangers."

"Well, if that's what's holding you back on accepting a mere drink from a devilishly handsome barman, let me introduce myself." He took her hand in his and leanned forward his eyes never leaving hers. "Killian Jones." His breath danced above the skin of her hand, her eyes transfixed on his face, as he closed the space between her hand and his lips, and pressed a soft and warm kiss on her delicate hand.

The contact of his lips on her hand, made her stomach flip over and over. She felt her cheeks warm up, and she couldn't be more grateful for the dim lighting of the place since she had a feeling that he would rub it in if he saw her all flustered. He had finally leaned back a bit, taking the warmth of his body with him, but his hand kept his hold on hers. She finally snapped out of the spell he had put her under and drew back her hand and tried to put as much distance as she could between them.

"I'm still not taking it, Jones." She grabbed her phone and her purse and was ready to leave to take another seat when suddenly she saw and heard a brunette with red lips yellling her name as she walkied towards her, waving her hand.

"You're already here. Oh and I see that you've already met Killian." Ruby said quite excitedly as her gaze shifted between her and him.

"I guess I did." Emma tried to avoid eye contact with Killian, since she was half expecting him to give her his usual smirk, especially now that he knew her name, since Ruby yelled it loud enough for the whole bar to know it.

"Emma and I were just getting to know each other, weren't we love?" She damned him for saying her name and make it sound so wonderful, but then she looked at him as he winker at her yet again and she then went back into being fully annoyed by him. She glared at him and then turned her attention to her friend, now wanting to get as far from him as she could.

"So Ruby, do you want to go sit in a booth? I think we're going to be a bit more comfortable than sitting at the bar." And as far away from Killian, she finished in her head.

"Sure. See you later Killian." They both turned around and were ready to go when Killian called her out again, and she inwardly groaned as she turned her head to look at him yet again.

"Don't forget to come back for that drink I owe you." She forced a smile and then walked towards the booth in which Ruby was already waiting for her. Emma couldn't pinpoint what it was, but there was something about Killian that made her uncomfortable, as if despite all of his flirting there was a genuine caring man underneath.

"What the hell was that back there?" Her friend exclaimed the moment she sat down,

"What was what?" She replied as she feigned ignorance, and settled her coat and purse next to her.

"Don't play dumb, you and Killian. You guys know each other?"

"Yes. No." Ruby looked at her a bit confused with her answer, and Emma sighed before going into more details.

"I met him this morning when I went to get my morning coffee. He cut the line in front of me, and I got pissed and then he started flirting with me and I got more pissed." Ruby couldn't stop laughing at her story as she imagined how the scene played out which irritated her, a bit.

"Killian can be a big flirt, but I think he likes you."

"Yeah, I got that. How do _you_ know him?

Ruby was about to tell her when they got interrupted by the waitress. They both gave their order, a pint of beer each. When the waitress left the table, she turned her attention back to her friend with an eyebrow raised as she waited for an answer to her question. The brunette looked up at her with a huge smile.

"Two weeks ago, I was working at the restaurant and I met this guy Victor. And we kind of hit it off and went in a couple of date since then. Last week end, I went out and joined him and a couple of his friends and met Killian. He's Victor's best friend." Her eyes were shining and sparkling as she talked about the new man in her life.

"You like this guy a lot don't you?" Ruby blushed as her grin grew wider and nodded.

The waitress camre back with their orders, and they both paid for their drinks and cheered before taking a sip. The cold beer made it's way down her throat and it was exactly what Emma needed and she felt her day slowly brushing off her shoulders, feeling lighter.

"Anything new with you?" Asked Ruby as she settled her pint back on the coaster.

"Not much. Work is demanding as usual, but going well in spite of it. I still love what I do." She replied casually as she took another sip, knowing what was going to be asked next, the reason why she wanted to see her friend.

"How are things with Neal?" The brunette asked with prudence, knowing it was a delicate subject lately.

Emma licked the foam that had settled on her upper lip after her latest sip, and sighed defeated.

"Not good, uh?" Her friend looked at her with a concerned look, her hand going to squeeze hers in a reassuring matter, to let her know that she was there for her.

"No. I feel like I don't exist for him anymore, and when I do, he is always in a awful mood. It's like there's this huge, thick brick wall between us constantly. It has been weeks now since we have had sex, and the last time we did, it was more to scratch an itch than making love." Tears started to prickle the corner of her eyes, overwhelmed by the state of her relationship with Neal.

"Do you still love him?"

"I don't know."

"Do you know what you want to do?" Ruby inquired.

"I don't know." Emma's hand went to wipe the tears that were threatening to roll down her cheeks. She then looked around the bar, as she tried to chase those tears away, her glance going across the counter and settled her gaze on Killian as he poured a pitcher of beer. He raised his head and looked towards her as if he knew she was looking at him. She doesn't know why, but she smiled at him, one he returned. She couldn't explain why or how, but that small act consoled her in a unexplicable manner.


	3. Chapter 3

Emma woke up this morning with a huge headache, regretting immediately the amount of alcohol she ingested the previous night. She had talked about Neal for awhile with Ruby, and she had decided that it was her duty to cheer her up, by ordering omre drinks. They changed the topic of their discussion pretty fast going from Neal to Ruby's job at the restaurant, telling her about the weird customers she recently had. She had gotten in charge of the Red Wolf, which used to be run by her grandmother. When Granny decided to retire she had passed on the torch to her granddaughter. She had so far made a wonderful job and recently renovated the place to pull a modern twist it while keeping the same cozy atmosphere.

After a couple of pints, Ruby ordered some shots as they got to reminisce their time in high school when they were up to no good. It was getting pretty late, and they were both getting pretty drunk when they decided to leave, the brunette dragging her to Killian's side of the bar, insisting to say goodbye. The fact that it was Friday night never crosse Ruby's mind, his side of the counter was packed. Filled with a bunch of girls giggling and eyeing Killian, fighting for his attention, and of course he was smirking like an idiot flirting his way around. What a surprise. Her friend insisted as she tried to make a way for them to get past the crowd, but after a couple of minutes, Emma insisted on going telling her that he wouldn't miss them, to which she finally agreed. They walked out of the bar and talked a bit in front of it enjoying the breeze, helping them sober up. They ended up by hugging each other and both went their seperate ways.

Emma turned around in her bed and noticed that Neal wasn't next to her. She raised her head to scan the room but no sign of him. He must have gotten up early to work on his computer, like he usually did. She shifted on her bed and looked at the time on her alarm clock and noticed that it was only 9h20. Emma sighed tiredly, she could have slept more. She never understood why, but every time that she went to bed somewhat tipsy she would sleep only a couple of hours, and not being able to fall back asleep.

Since she couldn't sleep anymore, she decided to get up and go wash her face in the bathroom. Her reflection horrified her when she saw her hair all tangled with knots, mascara smudge under her eyes making her look like a panda, and not the cute kind. She grabbed her brush and started working on the knots and then pulled her hair in a ponytail. She then proceeded to wash her face and get rid of last night make up.

After she finished cleaning herself, Emma went to the kitchen to grab some water and make herself a hot chocolate. As she arrived in the kitchen, she saw from the corner of her eye a piece of paper laying on the counter with something written on it

_Went to the library, be back at four._

His note didn't surprise, not one bit. She couldn't brush this annoying and nagging feeling that had left that note, sad that once again, in moments that they could share together he wouldn't be there. Not wanting to start her day gloomy, depressed and angry she decided to make herself a hot chocolate with extra whipped cream and cinnamon and some pancakes.

She then proceeded to go into her living room with the food she had made for herself and turned on the television. After choosing a movie on Netflix, she settled herself comfortably on her couch and ate her breakfast. Without even noticing it, she fell asleep. A persistent ringing echoed throughout the room, the striding sound waking her up. She spotted the source of sound and grabbed her phone as she looked at her caller ID. A hand brushed her hair out of her eyes as she cleared throat before answering.

"Hello." She greeted Mary Margaret as she tried to sound awake.

"Hi Emma! I'm calling real quick wondering if we are still on for tonight? David and I can't wait to see you guys." She told her with her usual sweet and soothing voice.

"Oh right, it's tonight. Sure, no problem." She answered as she raised her upper body so she could sit on her couch. "What time are you guys are coming?"

"Look Emma, if you forgot and want to postpone, we won't mind." Her friend replied as she tried not to sound too disapointed.

"No, really it's fine. It's been awhile since we saw each other. I really miss you guys." She could hear Mary Margaret's smile, her mood lifting up.

"Great! How about seven?" She chirped.

"Perfect, see you then."

Emma looked at the time on her phone, her eyebrows raising as she noticed that it was already three. She texted Neal to remind him that David and Mary Margaret were coming over later that night for supper. She got up and decided to clean her apartment and then went to take a quick shower. When she finished, she grabbed a fresh pair of skinny jeans, a black top and a red sweater. The moment she left her bedroom she heard the entrance door open as Neal came back from the library.

"Hey." He greets her as he puts down his backpack on the floor.

She crossed her arms in front of her chest, her stance sending him the message that she was still mad.

"Look, I'm sorry about last night and my attitude lately." She kept her eyes set on him, glaring. He sighed defeatedly before continuing. "I know I haven't been a great boyfriend, that I haven't been around and that every time we see each other I'm an awful mood and take it out on you." His voice was apologetic, his demeanour pitiful.

Emma didn't reply, just stood there keeping her stance. When he saw that she wasn't going to respond, he took a step forward his eyes avoiding hers as he opened and closed his mouth, not knowing how to continue. HIs eyes finally met hers.

"I know that you're angry and I get it. But it's hard to go back to school after so long and I really don't want to mess things up. I'm doing this for us!." She blinked a couple of times, her eyes looking at the floor quickly.

"Look. I'm happy that you decided to do something for yourself, so you could stop having crappy jobs, but right now you are not doing us any favors. I'm so tired to clean up after you, to attend your every need as if I was your mom. What about me? My work is depressing sometimes and the only thing I want is to come home and have my boyfriend take care of me every once and awhile. You know, having the supper ready or at least having the dishes washed. Am I asking too much?" She blurted the whole thing out, barely stopping to catch her breath.

His shoulders slouched as he digested her rant.

"No, it isn't." His words almost inaudible, Emma almost not hearing his answer. "I really want to make things better. I'm gonna try to help around the apartment, not take my stress out on you and be more present. Make time for us, for you. What do you say?" He begged as he took her hands in his, thumb caressing the top of her hand.

Emma was speechless. He had just told her what she wanted to hear. Promising to help, to be in a better mood, to be there for her, for them. She searched his eyes, and saw that he was being sincere, he did want to make things better. But there was the small voice at the back of her head, telling her that it wouldn't last, that it was only an empty promise. She still could give him a chance, right?

"Fine. She answered, defeated. The only thing she wanted is things to go back the way they were. That same voice came to nag her, telling her it won't. Emma pushed down that thought, she needed this to work with Neal, afraid that if it didn't, she wouldn't handle her heart being broken and finding herself alone again if he left her. She shook her head to chase those ideas and looked up at Neal. In attempt to lighten the mood, she cast him a small smile as he took her in his arms and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. The first time in a long time showing her any form of affection, it was nice.

"Do you want to help me with the supper?" She asked as she looked up at him.

"Sure" He answered with a smile.

-/-

At seven sharp, there was a knock on the door, David and Mary Margaret not even waiting for them to answer and let themselves in with a bottle of red wine in hand. Emma and Neal went to greet her friends, pulling the brunette in a tight affectionate hug, David and her boyfriend greeting each other as they patted themselves on their back.

The evening was pleasant, Emma enjoying the company of her friends. It had been a long time since she had got the chance to see them and kept telling herself that they should this more often. The couple were one of her closest friends, with Ruby, and she considered them all like family. She had met David while she was in college, he was majoring in criminology and they both had a psychology class together. On the first day of class they were already given an assignment and since David was sitting next to her, he asked her if she wanted to do the work with him. Something about him made her feel safe, like he was a good guy and that she could trust him. And she was right, she considered and treated him like a brother and he treated her the same way.

She met Mary Margaret through David, they were high school sweethearts and they still were madly in love with each other. Their love was so pure and deep, trusted each other so blindingly that she couldn't help herself to have this twinge of envy, knowing that her own relationship with Neal would never going to level with theirs.

Even though she did love Neal, she never felt that she could trust him with the entirety of her heart, she couldn't afford to get it damaged it again. Not giving herself completely to him ensure her to have this sort of protection from him, from pain. Lately she wasn't that sure that it worked. Since their discussion earlier, he did try to make it up to her, but there was still this lingering awkwardness between them. While they were making supper together, he tried to make her laugh, be affectionate but it felt forced and off, as if it wasn't them anymore.

After they finished their second bottle of wine, David and Mary Margaret started to look at each other, with a conspiring look.

"Do we tell them?" David asked the brunette. She nodded and shifted on her seat, a smile on the corner of her lips. She cleared her throat and turned her gaze towards her and Neal.

"Wha have a big announcement to make." She started to say, drawing out the silence as to put emphasis on the suspense.

"We're engaged!" She exclaim as she showed the ring on her left hand. A small silver circular band with a small diamond in the middle. Simple and sophisticated, just like her. Emma's eyes went wide, as she shout out her excitement and happiness.

"Congratulations! I'm so happy for you guys!" She got up from her chair and went around the table to give the newly engaged couple a hug.

"Congratulations man." Expressed Neal as he gave the David a one armed hug. "So when is the bachelor party so we can go wild?" Neal asked jokingly, making her roll her eyes at his comment, a bit repelled by it. Before she had time to get fully annoyed by his comment, Mary Margaret caught her attention by touching her arm.

"Emma, I was wondering if you would like to be my maid of honour?" She asked shyly, her request leaving her dumbfounded.

"Yes! It'll love to!" She yelped, as the bride to be jumped with excitement.

"Thank you so much."

"By the way, we are having an engagement party next Saturday, so you guys make sure to clear your evening. We want both of you there." Announced David, his index finger pointed at them as he attempted to look menacing.

____Emma shook her head as she laughed at his brotherly stance. "Don't worry, I wouldn't miss it for the world."


	4. Chapter 4

_**Sorry if it took a bit more time to get this chapter ready, I got carried away with some issues at home and some other stories that I was writing. I don't know when the next part should be up, hopefully soon.**_

_**Hope you like this part :)**_

_**Caro xx**_

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><p>Emma was heading towards <em>The Red Wolf<em>, Ruby's restaurant, to help with the preparation of their friends' engagement party. Ruby had closed the place to her customers so Mary Margaret and David could have their party there. The moment she got there, she helped her friend put on some decorations around the place, so it would look more festive. She was now on the latter trying to hang this banner that congratulated the couple, while Ruby held the latter so it wouldn't move.

"You look to be in a better mood than last week." Her friend told her as she gave her piece adhesive tape.

Emma looked down at her with a small smile as she realised that her friend was right, she was feeling better than she had last week or any other week.

"I guess I am." She grabbed the tape from her Ruby's finger and resumed her task. "Neal and I talked the day after we saw each other. He told me that he wanted to make it up t me and make an effort to make things better."

Emma climbed down the small ladder and moved it to the other side of the wall so she could hang the banner at the other end.

"And?" Ruby asked as she followed Emma with the ladder.

"He's trying. This week I came back to the apartment and the place was clean which is a big step considering the state in which it was all the other weeks." When she finished, she climbed down and closed the ladder.

Emma then noticed Ruby looking at her with a serious and concerned look, one that made her feel nervous all of a sudden.

"Do you think it'll last? I mean I'm happy you guys talked but I don't want you to get your hopes up if he ends up disappointing you again."

Her friend had voiced the concerned that has been hanging at the back of her head for the last couple of days, one that she tried to ignore.

"I don't know. Maybe." She let out a deep sigh as she finally meet the brunette's concerned gaze. "I hope."

Ruby smiled her hand resting on her shoulders. "I hope so too. And let's face it, it is a good sign that Neal is trying." She could tell that she was trying to be optimistic but she knew deep down that she didn't really believed it will last, which made her wonder the same.

"Is he coming tonight?"

"He will. There's a chance he might arrive a bit late since he wanted to finish an assigment. He wants to go out and have fun without worrying about school stuff."

Ruby nodded. Hands on her hips, she turned around to look at the decorations that they hanged up and smiled.

"How about we go get change and make ourselves drop dead gorgeaous for tonight?" Emma laughed at her friend enthusiasm and followed her steps to her appartment on top of the restaurant.

-/-

Emma was running a bit late since she had decided to change the look of her hair a bit by curling them with Ruby's curling iron. The brunette had surprinsignly finished getting ready way before her, which was some kind of a record, and headed back downstairs so she could start greeting the guests with the newly engaged couple.

She inspected her look on Ruby's lenghty mirror, and smiled at herself, proud on the way she looked for the night, the red dress complementing her curves and light skin and the pair of black pumps giving the impresiion that her legs ran for miles. Emma also applied a bit of make-up to make her green eyes pop more. Before heading downstair to join the party, she debated with herself as to if she left her purse in Ruby's room or drag it down with her until she finally opted for leaving in her friend's appartment only taking her purse and phone.

Once she arrived at the restaurant, Emma reluctantly entered the room as she notived that she barely knew the people that had already arrived. She took a deep breath and walked further in and managed to find the happy couple and went to greet them before heading towards the bar. Emma took a flute of champagne and settled herself ona stool as she watched the interaction between people. Neal would probably arrived later, and she didn't want to intrude while Ruby mingled with the patrons and as Mary Margaret and David being the center of attention, weren't very available to just hang out.

As her eyes scanned the people talking in the room, she recognized some of them. There were some acquainteances of David and Mary Margaret from high school, some she knew from college, some from their respective jobs and their families. The only member of their family she really knew was David's mother, Ruth. Emma had met her when she was in college and David had invited her for the holidays since she didn't have a family to go back to.

Ruth was a kind, warm and loving person who always greeted her with open arms, treating her as if she was her own child. One New Year's, she even told Emma that she was the daughter that she never had the chance to have, the thought only, still overwhelming her since she had spent all her life thinking that no one wanted of her. That is, until the Nolan's.

When Emma spotted her in the crowd, she got up from her stool and walked towards her relieved that she knew someone that she actually wanted to talk to.

"Hi Ruth." She rested her hand lightly on the woman's shoulder, the action making her turn around, a wide smile lighting her wise features.

"Emma darling." She greeted her with her usual warm voice as she opened her arms and pulled her in a tight hug.

"You look gorgeous as always." Complimented Ruth making Emma blush a tiny bit as she thanked her. "How are you?"

"I've been good. How about you? You must have been very happy and proud that David is finally engaged to Mary Margaret."

"Of course, I'm always proud of him and I couldn't be more happy that he finally asked her hand in marriage."

She smiled at her Ruth and suddenly felt a bit envious of David on having such a caring and loving mother who was proud of him. She'll never get to have that. Ruth did see her has her own daughter but the reality was that she wasn't, and no matter how proud and happy she'll be for her, it would never be the same as having her own parents having those feelings for her.

"How about you? When are you and Neal be getting married?" Emma was taken aback with her question making her choke on her drink. She decided to take another sip to stall a little while before answering.

"Uh, well, not now that's for sure. Neal went back to school a couple of months back, he's been quite busy. I guess we'll see after that."

A small smile came across Ruth face, a hint of what she thought was disappointment. Emma could clearly see she was hoping would tie the knot with Neal at the same time her son did with his high school girlfriend. Emma remembers when she had told her she started seeing Neal, she was so ecstatic and happy for her, convinced she was heading towards her own happy ending.

Ruby walked towards them and went to greet Ruth, and Emma couldn't be more grateful for it, the discussion made her feel uncomfotable. Marriage and Neal were two words she didn't see in a sentence without a negative form in it.

"Hi Ruth! David and Mary Margaret are over there if you want to go and see them." Her friend said as she pointed at the other side of the room, in direction of the couple.

"Thank you, sweetie. I'll see you later, Emma." Said Ruth while squeezing her hand lightly, as if she was telling her to hang in there, her turn will come.

When she turned around to face Ruby, the brunette had a huge grin molding her traits and looked far too excited for her taste.

"What?" She asked with a worry look, knowing that her friend was either up to something or about to do something Emma didn't approve of.

"There's someone I want you to meet." She didn't let time for Emma to reply and grabbed her hand, pulling her over on one side of the restaurant. The brunette stopped when they reached a handsome blond man.

"Emma, this is Victor." Ruby left Emma's side to go to his, her hand lacing with his large one. "Victor this is my best friend, Emma."

"Nice to meet you Emma. I've heard a lot of good things about you, and not only from Ruby." He told her with a smile before taking a sip from his tumbler.

She felt her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Who could have talked to him about her aside from Ruby. She didn't have time to voice her confusion, her silent question being answered by the lilted voice behind her.

"Hello beautiful."

Emma turned around and was face to face with Killian with his usual smirk as she couldn't help but to stare at him for a second or two. He was (despite his annoying self) handsome as always wearing a pairk of dark blue jeans and a black dress shirt that made his sparkling blue eyes pop. Of course, the first buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned as they revealed the hair covering his chest. Emma had to chastise herself when she imagined what it would be like to run her hand under the his shirt and how far did that chest hair went.

She regained her composure as she straightened herself and pushed back those thoughts.

"What are you doing here, Jones?" She asked quite pleased that her voice came out laced with annoyance.

"Can I say how much I enjoy the passion with which you greet me everytime we see each other?" He teased her as she rolled her eyes at his comment.

She then turned her head in Ruby's direction to glare at her for not warning her that Killian would be here. But when she reached the spot next to her, she noticed that Ruby and Victor had disapeared into the crowd leaving her alone with the Brit. She let out an exasperated sigh feeling betrayed by her friend and suddenly noticed that Killian had stepped closer, so close that she could feel the heat emanate from his body invade her. Her heart suddenly picked up the pace, not understanding why his proximity affected her as such. Well, she had a hint of the reasons it made her react that why, but was not mentally prepared to face the meaning and consequences of those reasons.

"To answer your question, Swan, as you may be aware, Victor is my friend. Ruby invited him here tonight and since he knew he wouldn't know anybody here, he asked me if I could accompany him." Killian leaned closer as he raised his hand and toyed with a loose strand of hair. "And I was told that there was a possibility to see you here, which is good incentive especially since I didn't manage to give you that drink I owe you the other night."

Emma felt her stomach doing something it hadn't done in a very long time, it flipped as she felt her mouth go dry when she saw the way he was looking at her. She swallowed her and took a step back as she tried to get some distance from him.

"Even if I would have wanted that drink, it would have been impossible to get it since you were way too preoccupied seducing those girls that were gawking at you." She spat, mentally cursing to herself for sounding like a jealous girlfriend.

Killian's face cracked a teasing smile, eyebrow raised.

"Are you jealous, love?" He teased, his grin widening when she shifted on her feet and let out a puff of air.

"In your dreams."

"Well, in my dreams there are far less people and clothes involved." He drawled out and she realized that his fingers were still playing with a loose curl.

Emma felt herself blush at his comment while her heart increased it's pace. He finally tucked her strand of hair behind her ear as he took the opportunity of leaning in even further. His mouth lowered, levelling her ear as she felt his breath brush the skin of her neck.

"Even though it would be a shame to waste that dress of yours. I must say you look absolutely gorgeous tonight love." He told her in a low deep sultry voice, sending a shiver down her spine.

He finally leaned back, making it easier to breath without the warmth of his body, as he winked at her. That was enough to make her annoyed again and not hot and bothered (which she shouldn't feel, she has a boyfriend). Emma was about to quip something back but was suddenly interrupted by a familiar voice, bringing her back to reality.

"Hey, babe." Neal greeted as he walked towards them, Emma trying to put as much distance as she could from Killian.

When he finally reached them, Neal pulled her to his side, his arm snaking around her waist in a possesive manner and kissed her, the action surprising her a bit since he wasn't one for public display of affection. From the corner of her eye, she noticed that Killian hid his hands into the pockets of his pants, feets fidgeting lightly as he avoide to look at them clearly uncomfortable with the situation.

"Hey." Emma replied, her voice raspy as she then cleared her troat. She glanced quickly at Killian and felt the tension get heavier.

"Um, Neal this is Killian, Killian this is my boyfriend Neal." God this was awkward. Killian nodded at her boyfriend with quick '_hello'_ while Neal glared at the Brit.

"Do you want to go say hi to David and Mary Margaret?" She asked wanting to flee whatever this was.

"Yeah, let's go." Answered Neal his eyes never leaving Killian's and lowered his hand to the small of her back as he led her towards her friends.

She took a quick look at him, as she muttered a '_see you later Jones_' to which he just smiled.

As they walked through the crowd, Neal started to ask her questions about the dark haired man who was obviously flirting with her.

"So who's that guy?" He asked her with jealousy layering his tone.

"He's the best friend of Ruby's new boyfriend. Did you finish everything you wanted to do?" She asked quickly, wanting to change the subject as soon as possible.

"Yeah I did." His voice was cold and suddenly distant.

_Was he jealous?_

She knew that what he saw may seem as they were flirting, but he had to know that Killian meant nothing to him she tried to reasoned. A voice at the back of her head kept reminder that she still did felt somewhat giddy and nervous as he did.

They finally reached her friends, Emma directly heading towards Ruby as she grabbed her by the elbow and walked a few feets away from their group.

"Why did you leave me alone with Jones?" She blurted out once they were out of earshot.

"What happened?" The brunette asked clearly worried that something major happened.

"He started to flirt with me big time and Neal arrived and saw it and then it was awkward as hell."

"I don't see the problem." Ruby replied with a perfect manicured eyebrow raised.

"He was flirting with me and Neal saw that, and now he's acting jealous!" Emma's voice raised as she was starting to lose patience.

"See it this way, maybe he'll pay more attention to you now that he saw an extremely hot guy flirt with you." With that said, her friend winked at her and left her side with a grin and went to join Victor.

Emma honestly didn't know what do think as she just stood there. She eventually managed to walk back to Neal as he was talking with David. She suddenly felt as if someone was watching her, and turned her head around as she scanned the room and noticed Killian staring at her from the bar. He took a sip of his drink as his eyes were fixed on her.

She needed a drink.

-/-

The supper was quite uneventful, Emma try to focus as much as she could on her boyfriend which proved to be hard since he was still giving her the cold shoulder. When everyone finished their plates, the waiters cleared the tables and then removed half of them which created an improvised dance floor. The music went from relax to more upbeat as the sound got a tad louder. A small group decided to start the ball and went to dance on the designated area.

Emma didn't feel like dancing, settling for hanging at the bar with Neal. The awkward silence that had emerged between them from the moment he arrived was getting even more uncomfortable as the evening went on. Despite the fact that things got better this last week, she still felt like there was something missing between them.

She glanced at Neal and noticed that he looked bored. His phone was glued to his hand, his thumb sliding on the screen as he feigned being interested by whatever he was looking at. His phone made a loud beep announcing him that he received a text message. He read the message from whoever that person was and then slid his phone back into the pockets of his pants and slid down from his stool.

"If you don't mind Emma, I'm gonna go. I've got a couple of friends from school that are hanging out at a sports bar not far from here. You wanna come?" Her eyebrows raised, her mouth parting slightly as she listened to what he was telling her.

"Come on. It's the engagement party of two of my closest friends." She told him quite irritated.

"I know, but they are your friends, not mine. And to be honest, this is boring as hell." Neal sighed when he noticed Emma's offended look. "Look I stayed for supper so my part is done. Stay if you want, I'm going. See you at home."

He gave her quick peck on the cheek and left. Emma was stunned and still couldn't believe what had just happened. She settled herself back on one of the stools and waited for the barman to come and take her order. She needed really a drink. When he arrived, she ordered a glass of whiskey and took a huge sip when he gave her her drink. She felt the liquid burn it's way down her throat, relishing on the burn it gave her. That's just what she needed.

"Trouble in paradise?" A voice next to her pulling her out of her thoughts. She looked to her side and saw Killian settling himself where Neal sat not too long ago.

"What gave you that idea?" She replied as she swirled her tumbler around, making the ice cubes in her drink clink together.

"Well, you are sitting alone with a drink in you hands and a bitter look. And I just saw you charming boyfriend leave the restaurant." He stated as he raised his hands to catch the barman's attention.

Emma gulped the rest of her drink and slammed the glass on the counter.

"Arent' you perceptive." Her voice came out bitter as she stared at the empty glass, not trusting herself on locking her eyes with his.

"Let's say that you're an open book." That got her to look at him.

"Oh really?" She raised her eyebrow challenging him. "Tell me, why am I upset?"

His eyes were locked on hers, detaching them for a second while he ordered a bottle of rum and two glasses.

"With the lovely dynamic you two portrayed tonight I'd say you guys have been having problems. Your boyfriend seemed bored and decided to go instead of spending the night with you. And with the look on your face, I'm going to guess that it's something that happens regularly.

His blue eyes bore into her, seeing right through her, leaving her agape with accuracy of his statement. She wanted to say something, anything, but no sound came out. Emma looked down defeated as the bottle of rum arrived. Killian poured the golden liquid in both of the glasses and then handed her one. He took his and raised it and waited for her to do the same.

"Don't let him get you down love. Let's enjoy the rest of the evening, we're suppose to be celebrating."

He than tapped his glass with hers and took a sip. She stared at him, still overwhelmed by what had happened and what he had said. He was right though, she couldn't let Neal get her down everytime he did something she disliked. Emma drank the content of her glass in one huge sip and then grabbed the bottle and refilled hers and Killian's tumbler.

"Okay. Let's celebrate." She told him as she tapped her glass with his.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Hi guys! I'm happy that I managed to post this chapter so quickly. I really hope you like it! Thanks for those who have read so far! :)****  
><strong>_

_**Reviews are always welcome and motivates me to update faster (althought don't feel obligated to)**_

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><p>Emma stayed at the bar with Killian by her side, the bottle of rum now half-empty. She realized that when he wasn't flirting, he was quite fun to be around. After taking one last sip of his glass, Killian's gaze went from his hands to her, with what she could perceive as an embarrassed look. Curious on why he was looking at her that way, she dropped her tumbler on her coaster and turned her head around so she could face him with one eyebrow raise.<p>

"What is it Jones?"

He met her eyes, her stomach flipping over the moment she noticed how blue his eyes were despite the poor lighting. She swallowed har as he cleared his throat and shifted on his stool.

"I want to apologize for my attitude." Emma looked at him with a confuse look, Killian noticing the frown her eyebrows raised. "For the flirting. If I had known that you had a boyfriend I wouldn't have flirted that much." He cast her a bashful smile, and she would never had thought that he could manage to look so adorable.

"Really?" Emma laughed in response. "You would have stop flirting? Why do I doubt that?"

Killian looked at her with hurt look, his eyes follow one if his hand that his swirling his tumbler around.

"I would have. It's bad form to pursue a woman that her heart as been claimed." He justtified his eyes meeting her green ones one more time. Once again, Emma felt her body tingling with the way he was looking at her, the sincere and serious look that covered his eyes.

"So you're a gentleman now. That's good to know." She teased back with a playful smile wanting to push away those sensations and emotions that he was suddenly emerging out of her.

She was relieved when Killian replied with the same teasing tone as he told her that '_he is always a gentlemen' _his mouth curving into a smirk.

They looked at each other before they both burst out laughing until their cheeks hurt. They definitely drank too much rum. When they finally managed to calm down and that the muscles of her cheeks were now relaxed Emma looked at him, her hand going to rest on his forearm the action instantly grasping his attention.

"Don't apologize. Even if you're obnoxious, it's actually nice to have someone flirt with me, it makes me feel desirable. Neal doesn't show it to me anymore, I haven't felt desired by him in any shape or form in weeks now." Emma was surprised that she managed to tell Killian that, something that she never told Ruby or any other of her friends.

Finally saying those thoughts outloud made her heart ache as she realized how unhappy she was in her noticed from the corner of her eye, Killian biting his lower lip as he clenched his jaw. He took a deep breath before opening his mouth again.

"Well in that case, I'm not going to stop. You are brilliant, beautiful, amazing and funny and you should be reminded of it."

His stare was so intense and filled with emotions, that Emma felt as if she would burn as the previous sensations he had sparked in her resurfaced. Suddenly feeling self-conscious, she looked at her empty glass as she felt her mouth go dry and cheeks burn, this time definitely not the result of the effect of alcohol.

"You don't even know me." She managed to say, her voice small and for a second she wondered if he heard her. As he was about to respond, he got tapped on the back by Victor who came to stand between them.

"Jones, what are you doing here? Come join the party, we're sitting over there." He told him as he pointed at the table where Ruby, David and Mary Margaret were talking.

Emma felt relieve to find an escape to his conversation that was rising with tension and the complex emotions that were too intense for her to process at the moment. She got up and grabbed her glass and walked in the direction that Victor had pointer. She head Killian get up from his chair and followed her with his friend towards the table.

For the rest of the evening Emma avoided Killian, his last words still clouding her mind as it made her feel giddy and scared. She didn't know what all the emotions were, she barely knew the guy and she had also drank quite a lot, she rationalized. It will pass tomorrow as the alcohol in her system will fade.

When most of the guests have gone, their little group was the only one remaining, and when she avoided Killian's gaze once more and decided that it was maybe her time to leave. She got up and congratulated the couple one last time as she gave them a hug and said goodbye to the rest of them. Just as she was leaving the restaurant, she felt someone by her side and she turned around to see who it was.

"What are you doing Jones?" She asked quite happy that her voice came out indiferrent.

"I want to walk you home." His hands were in his pockets, a faint blush appearing on his stubbled cheeks.

"I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself." She didn't wait for his response and resumed her walk but was stopped with his hand resting on her wrist.

"I'm sure you can, but it's late and you had a lot to drink. It would be bad form to let you walk alone in this state."

She stared at him and saw nothing more than necessary trying to gauge his intention. When she only saw truth behind those eyes, she let out an exasperated sigh and muttered '_fine'_ and they both walked in direction of her building.

Emma couldn't explain her sudden change of attitude but in her opinion they had spent too much time alone already and it got real and deep fast which scared her. She needed to run from whatever that was.

They walked in silence, Emma focusing on hearing the sound of her shoes hitting the pavement. When they finally reached her appartment complex she stopped and turned around to face him.

"Um...thank you." She said awkwardly as she tried to avoid any eye contact with those blue eyes of his. Emma turned around and started to climb the few stairs that led her to the entrance door when Killian's lilted voice stopped her.

"Did I say or do something to offend you?" His voice and expression worried.

"No, why?" She lied.

His hand left his side and want to scratch the back of his ear his head tilting a bit to the side as he looked at the asphalt quickly before resuming his previous stance. His eyes met hers, and felt her heart tightened when she saw his confused look.

"We were having a good time tonight and suddenly you are being distant and cold, bringing those walls of yours right up. There must have been something I said or did for you to act this way?" He told her his voice clearly upset.

Emma chewed the inside of her cheek as she went through the reason why she acted that away, silently answering his concern.

"Look, I'm tired and I want to sleep. Goodnight Jones."

She quickly turned around and closed the distance between her and the entrance door as fast as she could so he couldn't stop her again. Emma felt awful for leaving him like that but she couldn't just open up and tell him that he was making feel vulnerable.

As she entered her appartment, she took off her high heel shoes relieving her feet from the painful angle she had put them through the night. Emma decided to head to the kitchen to fetch a glass of water wanting to start nursing the upcoming hangover. She grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water. Her back was pressed on the kitchen counter, lost in thought as she drank her water. She kept reminiscing her evening with Killian, and wondered why she felt so vulnerable around him, why did her stomach do that goddamn flip everytime his eyes seemed to understand so much, as if he had known her her whole life. She had an idea why but was too scared to admit it.

"Emma?" Neal's sleepy voice pulling her out of her thoughts. He appeared with his boxer and white T-shirt on as he stood in the kitchen doorframe,

"Did you just come back from the party?"

Emma nodded as didn't feel like talking.

"I texted you a couple of times. You never responded." He told her his voice laced with worry.

"My phone ran out of battery." She replied quickly and that's when she remembered that she left her bag with her clothes and her other things at Ruby's. She'll have to go back there tomorrow to retrieve her things.

"It was getting late and I was beginning to worry." He shifted from where he stood and started to walk towards her.

"Yeah well, it was my best friend's engagement party and I wanted to have fun celebrating with them. Mayve you wouldn't have had to worry if you just stayed." She spat back, too tired of pretending she was okay with the way he was acting. She left the spot on which she was standing and went to her bedroom as she slammed the door behind her.

The next morning she tried to open her eyes, the task very demanding as she felt her heart pounding in her head. She finally gained the courage to fully open her eyes as the light seeping through the curtains were blinding her. Emma sat at the edge of her bed and gulped down the content of her glass. When she finished drinking her water she got up and went to the bathroom and tried to make herself presentable.

When she finished cleaning herself she went to the kitchen where Neal was making breakfast. He heard the sound of her footsteps and turned around to face her with an apologetic smile on his face and what she could assume, the breakfast being his way of telling her sorry.

"Hey." He simply told her his hand still holding the spatula he used to scramble the eggs.

Emma didn't reply, only smiled which probably looked like thin line than a smile.

"I'm sorry. I was an ass last night and you are right, I should have stayed with you." Her eyebrows raised as she scoffed at his apology.

"Yes, you should have." Emma spat out as her hands went to rest on her hips. "Why were you so bored anyway? You like David and you usually don't have a problem hanging out with my friends."

Neal looked down at his feet as the rest of his body fidgeted lightly. When he finally managed to face her, he let out a deep sigh before answering her.

"You're right, I do like David he's a stand up guy and your friends are okay. But last night I was mad at you and kind of jealous."

"Why were you mad at me? And jealous?" Emma felt confused and it was too early to deal with this shit. She didn't even had a cup of coffee and her day was starting off with a fight (she's sensing) with her boyfriend.

"When I arrived at there last night you were talking to this guy who was clearly flirting with you and you seemed to enjoy it." He told her as he raised his voice, his emotions getting the better of him.

"Maybe I wouldn't enjoy it that much if you actually paid attention to me every once in a while." Emma vociferated finally telling him what had been eating her away these past weeks.

She let out a loud sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose as a headache started to appear.

"I really need to get my stuff I forgot at Ruby's. Let's talk later, okay?"

"Sure, whatever." He told her as closed the stove and grabbed the frying pan with the burned eggs and throwing them in the trash.

Emma left the kitchen and grabbed her red leather jacket and left her appartment. The cold breeze appeased the pain throbbing in her head, and helped her clear her thoughts. As she walked towards the _Red Wolf,_ she wondered if her life will ever be drama free, pain, sadness and anger the only emotions fueling her being lately and wondered what would happy could feel like. And suddenly, she remembered the last time she had a semblance of happiness her mind drifting to Killian as they shared a bottle of rum.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Sorry if it took me a while to update. I'm having trouble writing lately, so I don't know when the next chapter will be up. I hope you still enjoy this small update!**_

_***not beta, so ignore the mispell and mistakes!**_

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><p>Emma knocked on Ruby's door and took a step backwards as she waited for her friend to open the door. She heard the sound of her feet padding around her apartment, the sound getting louder as she approached the door.<p>

The door swifted open, revealing Ruby in her pyjamas, her hair pulled back in a loose bun.

"Hey Emma. What are you doing here?" She asked surprised, clearly not expecting to see her.

"I left my bag here last night."

"Oh right! Um, come in." Ruby looked a bit nervous and quickly glanced back into her apartment before letting Emma in.

"Is this a bad time? I can come back later if it is."

Ruby was about to answer but was cut off by a male voice coming out of the bathroom, one that Emma recognized. She wiggled her eyebrows at the brunette to which she returned with a smile as she rolled her eyes.

"Babe, do you have a spare toothbrush I can borrow?" Yelled Victor as he came out of the bathroom wearing only a white towel wrapped around his hips. His steps faltered when he saw they had company and gave her a smile.

"Oh Emma. Didn't know you were coming, if I did I would have covered myself a bit better."

She chuckled awkwardly at his comment as she tried to cut the tension lingering in the air. Emma hadn't thought that Victor would have spent the night over at Ruby's.

"Look, I can come back later, and leave you two to whatever you guys were doing." Emma said as she turned around and reached for the doorknob.

"Stay. We were about to have breakfast, I don't mind having some extra company." Said Victor as he looked at Ruby, who also agreed.

Emma looked at her friend wanting to be sure she wasn't imposing, the brunette giving her a reassuring smile.

"Okay then. I'll stay."

"Great! In that case you can make your famous pancakes!" Chirped Ruby as she lead the way towards the kitchen while Emma huffed at her comment.

Entering the kitchen, she took her jacket off and draped it on a chair next to the small dining table. She then started to take the ingredients she would be needing for the pancakes and found her way through her friend's pantry quite easily. It wasn't the first time her friend baited her in making breakfast, which to be honest, she didn't mind.

Ruby was preparing some coffee while Victor went to her room to get dressed.

"So, did you have fun last night?" Her friend asked as she started to settle the table. Emma looked back at her friend for a moment as she pondered at her question. The memory of her and Killian talking at the bar and playful banter between them made her smile.

"Yeah, I really did." Ruby came to stand next to her, her elbow nudging her sides playfully, a teasing grin on her face.

"Is that smile caused by thought of a certain British man with stunning blue eyes?" Emma felt herself blush to which Ruby smiled victoriously.

"What makes you think that?"

"Well, first of all your stupid boyfriend left the party early leaving alone. A handsome dark-haired man came to keep you company with which you drank more than half a bottle of rum. And from where I was standing you seemed like you were having a _lot _of fun."

Emma looked at her friend with wide eyes, impressed on how Ruby saw and noticed all of those things. She wanted to say something to defend herself, not wanting her friend to have the last word, but she came out empty. The worst was that she was right, the reason she had so much fun the previous night was due to Killian and nobody else.

She closed her mouth, and looked back down at the frying pan as she flipped the pancake. The tension that had settled between the two of them was torn as Victor waltzed into the kitchen, rubbing his hands together.

"Those pancakes smell good!" He cheered as he went to pour them some coffee, Emma eyeing her friend not to say anything to which she answered with a quick nod.

They spent the breakfast talking about a little of everything while they ate. Emma finally got the chance to get to know Victor, since she didn't get that chance the night before due to various distractions. She learned that Victor just finished studying medicine, and that he was now starting an internship at the Storybrooke's General Hospital. Victor then went on talking about England, telling them that he used to visit the family he had over there every summer since the moment he was just a little kid. That's how he had met Killian, he was his aunt's and uncle's neighbor, and they had become friends instantly since the first time they had met when they were only 7 years old.

The moment that his name was mentioned, Emma felt her cheeks flush and felt Ruby looking at her from the corner of her eye, Victor oblivious of the glances that the girls were giving to each other.

"You know he likes you a lot." Said Victor as he took a mouthful of the pancakes into his mouth.

"Who? Killian?" Emma asked surprise. She wasn't surprise that Killian might like her, she actually had a feeling but wasn't sure, she was more surprise by Victor's change of conversation.

Victor hummed as he nodded, chewing the last piece of his food before opening his mouth to add something.

"Yeah. I can tell by the way he looked at you last night. I haven't seen that look on him in a long time, well ever since his last girlfriend really." He dropped his fork on his plate, and leaned back clearly sated. "I can tell by the way you're looking at me that you don't believe me. I know he flirts a lot, but it's all an act, trust me."

Emma was speechless, not expecting to have all this information about Killian this early in the day. She stared at her cup of coffee instead of speaking, her fingers playing with the handle of her mug as she lost herself in her own thoughts.

She knew that he was somewhat attracted to her with the way he shamelessly flirted with her, but like her? He didn't really know her (even though she felt that his eyes were sometimes a bit too knowing), or even known her long enough to actually have some feelings for her. Granted, he was very nice and sweet the night before, especially since he comforted her after Neal left, but that doesn't mean he cares for her, it's only his good form principles that led him to her.

Suddenly, Victor stood up from his chair, the action dragging her out of her thoughts, and thanked her for the delicious pancakes. He kissed Ruby on the lips before leaving the apartment since he needed to prepare his things for his internship that was beginning tomorrow.

The girls then got up and started to clear the table and made themselves some tea before heading to the couch. Emma pulled her legs under her as she propped one of her arms on the back of the couch so she could face Ruby, who mirrored her position.

"I really like Victor. He seems to treat you well and I have to say that I have never seen you this smitten by someone."

Ruby smiled back at her, clearly happy that her friend approved of her new boyfriend. Emma was glad that she had found someone that cared about her, that saw her as his whole world, but a part of her envied Ruby. She missed that feeling, the one of being so blindly in love that whenever she thought about Neal she felt those butterflies tickling her stomach and where she felt cherished as if she was his whole world.

"Well, now it's your turn." Ruby added as she took a sip of her tea.

"My turn to what?"

"To be happy." Emma was momentarily stunned by Ruby's words. Her eyes quickly looked down to her lap, looking at her fingers that were fiddling with the handle of her mug. She didn't know what to respond to her friend, since she was right. She wasn't happy, she hadn't been in a long time now, she doesn't even remember the last time she was truly happy with Neal or just generally.

"Can I ask you a question?" Ruby's question pulling her from her thoughts, to which she answered with a nod.

"Why are you still with Neal? I mean he clearly doesn't make you happy, and he doesn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated. He keeps making promises but never actually lives up to them and you always end up hurt and disappointed.

Emma let out a shaky breath as her friend finally voiced out loud and clear the fear that has been paralyzing her lately. She looked down at her hands, her fingers toying with the hem of her shirt as to help her soothe her nerves. Taking a deep breath, she straightened herself and looked back at her friend.

"I think that deep down I still love him. We've been together five years now, yes we've had our hard times and he's not the perfect boyfriend but I can't just toss away five years down the drain just like that. I think I owe it to him, to us to try and fix whatever is going on between us."

"I understand and respect that, but do you think it's normal that it's always you who makes the efforts in your relationship. I mean, he acts like he doesn't fully care about you and honestly, he takes you for granted. Don't lose yourself trying to help him."

Emma's eyes started to prickle, hot tears blurring her vision as they slowly rolled down her cheeks. She knew that what Ruby had told her was true. If she was being honest with herself, it's what she had been telling herself for the past weeks, but was afraid to fully admit to herself.

"I'm afraid." She managed to say her voice hoarse. Ruby nudge herself closer to her, leaning forward as she wrapped her arms around her.

"I know you are, and it's okay. But you can't keep making yourself miserable for him."

She wanted to be happy again, more than anything. Ruby was right, if she wanted to get there again she needed to do something about Neal, things between them really needed to change.

Later that afternoon, Emma finally managed to chase her tears away and went back home with the bag she went to retrieve over at Ruby's. The walk back home was a blur, feeling numb after spending so much time crying on her friend's shoulder. She was trying to get her thoughts straight since she knew that she needed to talk with Neal the moment she would arrived home.

When she entered her apartment, she noticed that Neal was sitting on the couch watching TV. Emma dropped her bag in the hallway, shrugging her jacket off and taking her boot off before heading to the living room. Her heart was pounding loudly through her veins, her stomach clenching as she tried to take a deep breath as to prepare herself.

She sat next to him, Neal not moving an inch when she did so. They watched TV in silence, not looking at each other, conscious that she was drawing out the inevitable discussion. After a minute of encouraging herself, she finally turned her head around to look at him and took a deep breath.

"We need to talk."


End file.
